Most of you have noticed that we're Catholic. This comes with varying degrees of responsibility and varying degrees of how people treat those responsibilities (as any faith path does). I am not a fully converted Catholic (yet) but I like to tell people, "I'm Catholic all except for the paper work." What does that mean? Well, to convert there's paperwork to file since this is neither my husband's or mine first marriage, paperwork which must then be accepted for me to become Catholic and my marriage to be recognized within the church. I also need to go through some classes, which I began this past fall and then stopped when the paperwork was going to take longer than originally thought. I plan on attending the classes again in the fall of 2014.
I say my rosary, I read and meditate on my readings, I pray at meals, pray when I wake up, and pray before going to bed. I teach my children their prayers and rosaries and have never had a second thought about it. I send our children to catechism classes and when their books come home in the spring we finish whatever wasn't able to be done in their weekly class throughout the year.
There are sacraments that must be made, stepping stones in the path of faith if you will. Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, for priests or nuns there is yet another sacrament, and Last Rights given to those of us who are ready to pass on to meet our Lord.
As "a Catholic except for the paperwork" I do not partake of communion, it simply wouldn't be right. I sit in our place in church and watch everyone else take communion. I ponder and pray about my place in the church. I watch as my children and husband go off to make confession when they are ready to do so, I watch as they walk their path of faith, and I wait.
Yes, I would love to take every step that they take. Hold their hands in mine as they walk that path. Yet, God has a different plan in mind for me. As a convert he's not making this especially easy for me. Baby steps, He says, and to have faith. Without that faith I would be lost. Without His guiding hand I would loose my way. It is easy to become frustrated about the process when it doesn't move "fast enough". But, then, I am reminded I must have faith.
I pray for guidance in my own life, how I mother my children, how I guide them on their path to adulthood in faith, and to help keep me patient while I take my baby steps.
I pray for those who are sick and in need, those who request prayers (and the list I have is rather long), those whom I know need prayers but have not asked for them, and so much more.
I let Him know that I am grateful for all He has given me.
And yet, sometimes, I whine to Him. I'll whine how things "should" be, "aught" to be, how "I want" them to be, or how "unfair" things are. I do not question Him and yet I whine (sometimes). Faith is a tricky thing, children seem to have it in abundance and as we age some of us keep that totally blind faith without question ... some of us stray. We question, we whine, we complain; sometimes we even turn our backs on our faith. I've been down those paths and they never ended well for me.
The year of 2014, for me, is the year for baby steps. I will take each small step that I should be taking along my path to bring me back to that place of trusting faith without question. God has a plan for me. I may not know exactly what that plan is or what steps to take to fulfill that path. But, He does. And in my halting baby steps I will relearn how to walk in faith with Him before I learn to spread my wings and fly with the love He gives me.
Even though this isn't technically a list of things to share, I am sharing it for List It {Tuesday} over at Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers
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