Tired of Yelling

It's been a long, crazy, tiresome, wearying, type of day here. We started the day off really well. The children all did their lessons with minimal issues, we had a hot lunch, got the holes in Peanut's walls all patched, the kiddos made banana pudding, etc etc. Just a "normal" day here.

And then...

Phone calls saying that relatives are ill. Change of plans, out comes a nine pound turkey (all you really need for five people), which has been "bathing" in cool water (getting changed every 30 minutes or so), and the oldest children are informed. 

One pie to bake tonight. Second load of dishes running in the dishwasher now. Last load of laundry for the day in the dryer. Children have been bathed, brushed, kissed, and sent to bed.

I thought I was doing ok ... I'd raised my voice but hadn't yelled. Not since my post earlier this week.

I just yelled. Louder than I had in awhile. The girls are going crazy rolling around and playing on the bed instead of going to sleep. I am not at my best at their bedtimes to begin with. I yelled. I yelled loudly. 

Yes, they're still awake. Are they hurting anything? No ... but they really do need their sleep or both of them are HUGE cranks the next day. And, honestly, Mamma wants them to sleep because then the house is quiet. Then I can think. Then I can sit and crochet without little noses poking into my stitches with little heads in front of mine so that I cannot see what I am doing. I can bake in relative peace, or blog, or spend time with my dear husband.

Tonight I yelled. Tomorrow I begin again and attempt not to yell at my children. I know that this can be done. I know that it is possible. I've seen people do it. I've done it before. 

With all of these orange things all around the house you'd think that I couldn't forget. I slipped. I look around my house right now and wonder how I could have just let my mouth open with that level of noise. Then I realize. I'm stressed "just" a bit today with all of the things happening out of my control. I do not like being out of control at all ever. Like NEVER. Oh, yeah I know, I talk about relaxing and for the most part I do. But, when people I know and love are ill or hurt I want to fix it, or have it fixed, yesterday! When that doesn't happen (which it rarely ever does) I get stressed out. When I get stressed out I yell. When I yell my kids think I'm scary. When they tell me that it hurts my heart.

I begin again tomorrow. Thankful for another chance.

Good night. Happy Thanksgiving. And God bless!