- Ear Aches. Ear aches make me see red. I can handle most pain. If my back is hurting really badly then of course that makes me into a whiny child as well. But ear aches, and tooth aches, cause such a different sensations of pain. My ear has been aching for 24 hours now with no end in sight and it feels as though a baseball bat has been taken across my jaw and ear. I want to cry it hurts so badly. My nerves fray and I tend to snap at everyone. The silly thing is that I haven't had an ear ache since I was young and I haven't had a tooth ache in many years. I was just as bad about ear aches when I was a child and I've never learned to manage that type of pain well.
- Children who pretend they don't know something that you know that they know. Yes, that was a convoluted sentence. I have two children who absolutely seem to enjoy pulling the "I don't know how to do that" card after I've taught them the concept repeatedly and I know that they most certainly do know how to do it. It causes me to see red in a moment. I'm frustrated and ready to just scream. I never do, though. I take a deep breath and walk them through it without giving the answers step by step.
- Strangers telling me how to raise my children. It never fails that at least once a week someone who doesn't know me or my family insists that we're not doing our children justice by homeschooling them. Mind you everywhere we go our children are polite, use their manners, help the elderly, and speak intelligently. I do not claim my children are angels but DARN IT they're my children to raise the way I choose. We homeschool for many reasons and none of them are because it matters to us what others think.
- The cost of low vision/blind curriculum. Our family is by no means well off. Many months the money runs out before the end of the month. We budget and we're careful but our income is limited. I have been looking into the braille books for teaching Peanut braille as her eyesight continues to fail more. I have also been looking into the large print children's books and magnifying glasses. These things cost at least twice as much on average than other books. I need to buy some of these items and I understand why they cost more. I simply wish that they were more affordable for people in my position who are simply trying to do what we must and what is best for our little angels.
- Those who abuse others. Any type of abuse on anyone or any animal is just plain wrong. I answer questions often to my children who do watch the news with their father why people do these things. My standard answer is that they have something wrong with them, a sickness, that is inside their head. That it doesn't make it right, but it is what's happening. When I see abuse in person I instantly see red and normally do something to stop it if I can. Sometimes it's a phone call, sometimes it's getting my husband to step in, and sometimes I put myself in harms way. I cannot help it. I was a victim of abuse in my teen years and early twenties. I know how badly it hurts. My mother was there in my teen years to get me out of it, in my twenties I escaped it. I will never allow it to happen to my children or myself again. If I can stop someone else's pain, even for a few moments, I try to do so.
- Freezing temperatures! When the temperatures are so low that everywhere pipes are freezing, frost bite warnings are given, and every little thing is covered in ice I see red. The children cannot go out and play. I cannot do everything I'm used to doing (half my pipes are frozen now, I have 1 out of 2 bathrooms working and the cold water in my kitchen sink) I cannot do dishes or laundry right now. The children all bathed yesterday but Peanut would like a bath, our working bathroom only has a shower not a tub. It's an inconvenience that I cannot stand. Yes, it's winter. Yes, it's Michigan. BUT we're not in the arctic circle and still my furnace cannot keep up. I use more electricity due to my having to run space heaters. My water in the working faucets are dripping. I watch as money trickles out of my wallet.
Snow fall this past few days. |
These are pictures taken at my kitchen window with my salt and pepper shaker collection (OK it's only part of the collection). It looks like they're in the frozen arctic. There was even more ice that formed on the inside over night. It was really concerning to see this happen. Although it did become a quick science discussion.
I know that 90% of the things that make me see red cannot be changed. I have to deal with questions from strangers and attempt to keep my calm. I cannot change the weather. And abuse is widespread. However, I can advocate for the abuse to stop. I can make my voice heard over the noise of every day life. I can teach my children right from wrong. I surround myself with orange to attempt to remind myself not to yell when I'm in pain or frustrated. I do this because I have taken the Orange Rhino Challenge . I don't want to yell at my children. I'm not sure if I'm capable of making a curriculum for the blind and visually challenged that could be more affordable. I do not have a vast knowledge of the issue to be able to make it comprehensible and helpful at this point. However, it is one of my long term goals to be able to do so.
Orange Rhino Update: I had the goal of no yelling for the month of December, I failed and retried many times. I made the same goal for January and due to my ear ache I've failed again. I will now attempt to make it for an entire week without yelling, ear ache or not. Once I accomplish that I'll move on to two weeks and so on and so forth. I CAN do this. I just need to remind myself to do so.
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I hear you on all of your points. I so hear you. I think there is something about the pain being closer to your brain that makes it more aggrevating and annoying. Like in your back, it's not as painful as in your face. I think it's like the shorter pathway to the brain and back - it's somehow enhanced. :) I am really sorry about your earache. Perhaps it's time to visit the doctor just to make sure it's not infected? Especially if you start feeling woozy and dizzy.
ReplyDeleteAbout the kids, I try to remember how long it takes me to learn something. I mean, the Lord tells us to do things all the time, and after the 20th time of being prompted and told - we still don't do it. I think it's part of the human condition and the learning process. even though I want to just scream, I remember this fact. I really do try to catch myself when I'm saying - I told you this 5 times before. I am sure the Lord would say the same thing to me.
Abuse of any kind is totally unacceptable. Having been battling my own emotional abuse, and hearing stories where woman have been emotional verbally battered - and not being able to get help because their husband doesn't hit them - is horrendous. Even though Physical abuse is horrible and destructive, if a woman wants help, it's easier to find it. The scars are there so there is proof. All the scars of emotional, verbal and mental abuse are inside. No one can see them. Women suffer in silence and I think it goes on more than we know. It leads to depression, anxiety, substance abuse and suicide. That makes me see red.
I grew up in Minnesota so the freezing cold is a prt of my winter life. It remind me of home. It's the warm weather that makes me see red. :)
Thanks so much for this post Chrystal. So nice to visit your blog!
I'm glad to know that I'm not alone :-) (other than the cold thing lol)
DeleteI found you through the List It Tuesday link. I agree with every point! We are in WI so I understand the cold. (I would like to have some snow with that cold though.) However, it's not until March that I really start despising it. Last year we got a foot of snow the first week of MAY! I see red with snow in April... Thanks for your post!
ReplyDeleteI think the snow and arctic cold are making me upset as it's about 24 inches of snow and truly arctic temps for a few days. Thanks for stopping by! I'm always glad to "meet" new people!
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